Confessions

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I am dreading

Christmas. My family is so obnoxious and competitive over every little thing. That it’s a much smaller group this year makes little difference. My dumb jock brother and his blonde ex-Mormon bimbo wife will no doubt take every opportunity to rub it in that I am single. Their kids are cute but that’s about it. Maybe I should just lie on the couch at home instead?

Brother got a haircut.

My parents are in their late 70's, healthy & active, but my mum suffers from asthma. My brother stopped in for a visit/haircut over the weekend. I happen to call my mum just before the haircut and I was shocked. WTH was he thinking? I texted him afterwards saying he was irresponsible and I would be his worst nightmare should they become ill. He has not replied because he will never admit he was wrong. His wife said, 'sorry you are so anxious.' I am not anixous I angry that two 'educated' adults with a family don't respect our parents enough to stay away. A haircut isnt worth risking their lives.

Sleep when you're tired, eat when you're hungry

This whole isolation lifestyle has given me a more zen approach to life. On the 25th, I ate a bagel for dinner and I went to bed at 8 on the 31st. Who cares, just another day.

Numbers

Initially I thought BC’s daily Covid numbers were high ie. approx 700 new cases daily and not really decreasing by much despite mostly everyone following restrictions. I then looked into comparable population sizes like the state of Oregon and Tennessee. Oregon has twice the daily cases with 1 million fewer residents, and Tennessee is around 9000 new daily cases. So, BC, we’re doing really well in terms of keeping infections low. Thank you all for your sacrifices and wearing your mask and reducing your social contacts. It’s been tough and it sucks, this loneliness. But we do not have insane community spread like some US states. Thank you for taking Covid seriously. Let’s skip this holiday season to be alive for the next one.

Motherless in the time of Covid

Here’s comes a controversial thought. I work hard.My profession has been deemed an essential service in this crazy pandemic. So it’s biz as usual. Except, when you have kids. Yes, I get it. It’s an insane pressure to ensure your kids get to school. And dealing with online classes and the disruption to their lives. But here is my problem: as someone who doesn’t have children, I have no ‘out’. It is expected that I can just carry on. That I can handle it all because I have it supposedly easier. I am here to say... it’s not. Between aging parents who need more attention than ever, and the stress of dealing with added work load due to time taken by the people who are parents in my office...the anxiety and depression is almost debilitating. So the next time I hear someone say “oh you have it so much easier”. It may be finally time for me to say- “ No I do not.”

It has been a long time

I haven't had a sexual partner since January, before the virus ran amok. I am tired of "helping myself" and wonder if there is some safe way to meet someone for safe mutual relief/satisfaction.

Sick Of Socializing

Everyone I've ever met has made me sick. I'm sick of the whole friend lifecycle. I get taken advantage of a few times, and it's over. The exact same thing with every new person I meet. Well fuck it, I don't want to know anyone new, I'm going it alone, and this covid shit is the icing on the cake.

marriage not made in heaven

If I would have just said no when she asked me 27 years ago I would not be here right now saying this to nice complete strangers. I will never do that again.

December 27th

That’s the freedom day. Right now I’m just gritting my teeth. I have promised to deliver a Christmas dinner to HIS relatives. Not mine. HIS. He’s doing absolutely nothing to contribute. We don’t even live together. He’s been sitting on his ass every single time that he comes to my place, other than occasionally cooking a meal. He thinks he has equal rights in MY place, in spite of the fact that he doesn’t pay a dime towards rent or other expenses. On top of all that he’s been incredibly rude, obnoxious, controlling, and mean, for the past couple of weeks. So I will deliver the dinner for Boxing Day, and he will not be accompanying me back to my place afterwards. Although this will hurt like hell, his behaviour and attitude for the past few weeks has definitely illustrated that I have no other healthy options to make.

I have a fantasy

I am a male heterosexual. I say that only because so many readers seem to confuse a writer's gender and orientation. I have a fantasy in which I am tied naked to a block of some sort in an open field, with my consent, which leaves my bottom exposed. A long line of men, maybe 20-25, sodomize me. Some go around more than once. When they are finished, I get dressed and go home. In real life, I never experienced this type of sex.

I SAW YOU

Whole Foods North Van

Ran into you a few times in a few different aisles tonight ... wish my cashier was a little...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: Spelling of cum remains a seriously sticky issue

It's in the Scrabble dictionary but that doesn't mean that this word is universally accepted.