Confessions

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There are two viruses right now

Covid19 and selfishness. Both seem to be contagious. Everyone please take a moment to think about what you’re doing. We’re all in this together.

Essential Services huh?

I work in a grocery store. Last year, I got sick at least six times from customers. I'd start my shift feeling fine, and by the end of the night, I'd get that tickle in my throat that meant I've caught a bug from someone. I don't make much money, and I don't get sick days so I had no choice but to come in sick and (cautiously) power through it in order to make ends meet. Every day I see customers coughing and sneezing all over the place without bothering to cover themselves. I remember learning in elementary school that you cough and sneeze into your sleeve or elbow. The worst part is when people lick their fingers to open the plastic bags and then start picking through all the produce which now has their saliva all over it. I just got home from my shift at work today. Before I left, a man sneezed loudly without bothering to cover himself. Some of the spray got on my face. So even during this period of social distancing and being extra vigilant about stopping the spread of a virus, this fucking idiot couldn't be bothered to be considerate of others and cover himself. It took all the willpower I had to not punch him in the face. If I so much as said to him "sir, please sneeze into your sleeve" he could have thrown a hissy fit and complained to the manager (these people bitch and complain about anything) and I'm the one who would be suspended or fired because that's how things work in retail. I've been wondering for a long time why people act like this. Why are people so inconsiderate and irresponsible? I actually think its because we celebrate narcissism in this country. Selfishness and self-absorption permeate the culture. Think about it. How often have you heard the idea "I don't care about anyone else or what they think, I do what make ME happy." Somehow, "fuck everyone else" became a virtue here. And when I think of the spring-breakers heading to Florida's beaches in YOLO mode the whole lesson of the Corona virus pandemic really becomes clear: this pandemic wouldn't have been nearly so severe if certain people just gave a damn about other people by practicing good habits and hygiene. They chose instead to act like pigs who worship at the altar of "me."

Why is your skiing or mtn biking more important than everyone’s health?

I’m upset that many people are complaining that they’re being asked to not ski, mtn bike, climb, or do other higher risk activities right now. These facebook groups have hundreds of people saying they’ll do what they want and this is such a sacrifice to their mental health. WTF. There are 1000s of people laid off, with more coming each week, all stressed about the possibility of months without money. All the people working in healthcare who are going to be overworked and stressed and exposed to the virus every day. So many people who are immunocompromised and on heightened alert and trapped at home. All the small business owners not sure if they can survive more than a month of closure. But screw them all right? Cause you need another trip to ski climb mtn bike with your crew. Going to other towns, pumping gas, hanging out in groups, leaving a trail of who knows what, posting pics, setting an example to ignore all the messages to stay home. And if you get hurt and need search and rescue, paramedics, nurses, doctors, a hospital bed... screw them right?

Names you don’t hear anymore

I’m tired of these same stupid names you hear these days. Cody, Blake, Ethan, Chelsea....meh. Hailey, Kailey and Bailey sound like the biggest bunch of Queen bees. Whatever happened to good old names like Frank, Sally, Albert, George, Sasha, Henry, Klaus or Otto?

What i'm thankful for

I don't yet personally know anyone that has this virus. I live alone. No more roommates (thank the sky friends). I fixed that old espresso machine earlier this year. I have enough to pay my rent. I have food and can get food. I turn on my tap and there's clean water. I take a shit in a washroom, alone, usually on the internet. I have the internet. The fact that i'm canadian and live in a country that will not be completely devastated by this virus. Board games with solitaire option. My plants. Music! Everyone reading this from their homes where they should be and where they should stay.

Too independent

I must have a soul mate Somewhere but We can’t be together Because I smoke pot And he prefers the harder things He wanted to get married and have a family I wanted to become someone worth marrying Before I had a family I had no idea that i’d have to choose one Over the other How unfair to live a life Healing myself from traumas Brought on by men To vigilantly protecting myself from Men only to reach a stage Where Men no longer want me And I’m dying to be loved by them. Looking into my aging eyes reminds them Of their own mortality. I’ve always loved the maturity Of an older man Yet I cant compete with the reassurance Of a much younger woman. I wanted to be cool for him So we could live a cool life Together and grow old In an unconventional way He wanted a smaller version Of me. Same smile, same hair But with a smaller More showcaseable body I wanted a smart man But Being smart is very attractive And he married someone who really Wanted to get married. Smart men don’t need to stay single Being single is more work And that isn’t smart I wanted to be independent For him So we could be equal partners In life He wanted to feel needed And knowing that I could Do it without him Made him insecure I worked on myself I stopped comparing myself To other women. But he liked it when I was jealous It made him feel powerful The drama that I worked so Dilligently to remove from my life Was the substance he built His existence around It gave him a sense of purpose I wanted to find someone Who has seen some shit Yet still lives in the light But those men are pieces That fit someone else’s puzzle I wanted to find true love When I’d really grown up Only I grew up into An era full of porn and polyamory I accept that I was never meant To bear children of my own There was a reason I couldn’t picture it But I wanted someone to love me so much that they wanted To have children with me I can live without the children But without that love? It never occurred to me that I’d have to.

It’s going to be a long haul

I’m usually a pretty positive person. But the facts and science behind COVID-19 don’t paint a good picture. Honestly I don’t see our consumer society returning to its globe-trotting, festival-attending, beer swilling in clubs and restaurants for a year or more. This is a global infection that needs to die down. I can’t wrap my head around how it will all play out, especially south of the border from us, in America and Mexico. I have confidence in Canada and the guidance from the health ministers. But controlling COVID-19 in the USA and Mexico.... again the facts about those two countries makes me very pessimistic. If Canada gets it under control, how can we exist alongside the USA where it will be a catastrophe with 50 states all doing different things? I have moments of shock. I grieve for so many things too many to count. I know we will get to the other side of the tunnel but I’m fucking scared of what will happen before we get there.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

I support our healthcare workers and am very grateful for what they are doing. I also have no intentions of banging on pots and pans every day at 7 pm. If you want to, that's cool, I guess. But in truth I hope this idea disappears as quickly as it came.

PLEASE stay 2 metres away !

Having to go to the grocery store has been a stressful event I have to do once a week. I go earlier mornings when it isn’t so crowded. Getting sick and tired of having to dodge and quickly walk away when I see other’s coming into my 2 metres of space, not seeing someone from behind brushing past me, and those standing near me in line. Stop being so Selfish, haven’t you seen the news or been on social media?

HaHa

I'm so sick of hearing about the corona...however, the amount of jokes this gave me/us is amazing haha

I SAW YOU

Hey, my eyes are down

I’ve seen you, and I feel you’ve seen me.. ...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: Now is not the time to open things up

My husband and I got married in August of 2019 and we were together for over five years before getting married. I’m very happy and love him with all my heart.