I left the bar at last call and walked home. Then realized that I had locked my bike outside of the club and had to go back so it didn't get stolen...
Its astounding how much a new manager can turn a job I loved into a place I dread going to every day. I actually thought I'd found a perfect fit but now I'm trying as hard as I can to find a new job.
It was my birthday this week. It's a day or early morning reflection for most people I think. I am so happy that I was born in Canada. I'm so happy I lived during a time when there was no internet and or cell phones. When you passed someone on the street you'd make eye contact and say hello. You respected other humans that were in your space, period. I'm happy that I have gained the power of knowledge by making many mistakes. I'm glad i've seen the world and it has humbled me. I'm glad I don't love freely, keep my circle tight and invest in it. The thing that made me the happiest this week, is waking up calm and zen-like. Happy to feel happy with what and who I have and need nothing more besides health.
I remember my sister having a birthday party when she was 6 or 7. My parents rented movies (this was in the 70s when the movies were reel-to-reel) and there were games and prizes and gifts and, of course, a cake. I never had a birthday party. I don't remember ever being asked or that it was ever an option for me. As parents, wouldn't you go out of your way not to play favourites with your children?
Whenever I shoulder check when changing lanes I feel like Han Solo.
I'm going to grow my hair out, grow a beard, wax my chest, but leave some hair right in the centre between my pecks. Girls will love it.
Not trying to judge because as a man I'm bad to the bone at times for certain. Especially when hanging out with my friends at a bar.
But I just do not understand why it's so necessary to use so so much vulgar language. I'm not talking about the usual cuss words once in a while when used with humor, or when justifiably angry about something. But when it's used in mixed company to comment about ones anatomy in a sexual way, why would anyone think that is cool or impressive? I honestly don't get that part.
I’m contemplating on whether to leave my current job and go look for another one. The only reason I’m sticking around is because it pays pretty well but there are times when things get very disorganized. One supervisor wants me to do one thing and another supervisor wants me to do another. And I end up being caught in the middle of all this chaos. Wouldn’t it be better to work under the jurisdiction of just one supervisor instead of five or 10?
I just thought about traveling to an alternate parallel reality to a world in which I was born a woman instead of a man because I would make a perfect companion for myself. I would always know what I'm thinking, and I would always be in perfect agreement with myself.
Recently, I've been thinking about about the global backlash against the Miss India Pageant where the contestant's photographs had been altered in Photoshop to make their skin appear lighter – a $400 million dollar industry in India, apparently. (And there was a creepy "Stepford Wives" uniformity to the women's appearance as well; I'm glad that the community called out the Pageant organizers.) This news story also made me realize something that I've been struggling with – I feel like a huge racist when I feel disappointed to see a lovely east Asian or South Asian woman with bleached blonde hair. Maybe it has something to do with seeing western beauty standards being applied to other cultures? I guess it kind of feels as if subscribing to the "Barbie" beauty ideal undermines and undervalues the natural beauty of many Asian women. (One of my south Asian co-workers has the most beautiful, blue-black, silky-looking hair I've ever seen. If she dyed it, I'd cry.) Yet, I also believe that every woman has perfect dominion over her own body and, if she wants to wear her hair blonde, or wear blue contacts, or even bleach her skin, that's her choice and no one else's business, including mine. But when I see it, it makes me sad. Then again, maybe they're just having fun trying out a new look and I'm just super over-thinking it! But then I remember that I'm a northern European woman with blue eyes and blonde hair and I feel like a racist (again) who shouldn't have an opinion about this.