at a Skytrain gate. She was standing square in front of an exit gate, rummaging in her purse for her Compass card and blocking others from using that gate. If you do not have your Compass card at the ready, step aside and allow us that do to continue with our day. It's called common courtesy.

Sometimes I think I am crazy, other times I think I am dreaming. The man I love is gone away for at least a year and a bit, I won't go to see him...I'm not allowed. Our relationship is...special, he's the one I think about when I first wake up, the one I think about when I go to sleep - it sounds like obsession but it's not. This is the only place that I can write this where he "might" not see it. There are two other women in his life, three children, only two of which are his, he's a good man, he made some mistakes but at his core he's a really good man. By rights I should walk away, live my life and never think about him again, but the love I feel has wrapped itself around my throat and refuses to let go. I've tried. I'll be with him forever, I'll love him forever, but that doesnt mean I have to, or that I am willing to put my life on hold. I know the time will come when we get our chance, but it's the mean time that hurts, it's the waiting, not knowing and fear of the unsure-ness of it all. I am overly insecure, because I know he loves me, I know that we're on this really messy path, but it still hurts and I miss him. It's like...missing a leg, or an eye, it's noticable, they said that love isn't supposed to hurt but that's clearly a lie. Love hurts so bad that death would be a sweet escape...but that's not an option because I promised. This hurts. Any suggestions? Please try and make them funny...I could use some laughs.

It's a minor gripe I admit. But when I'm riding transit folks just push their way past never taking a moment to be polite and say "Excuse me." I guess I'm old school but I think manners are important.

Realization this AM: everything in my life that has actually caused me lasting pain was borne out of my inauthenticity... to speak up, to state my honest opinion/s, to share my real feelings/ emotions, to be active and participate. Being real is being honest and seen and knowing that whatever anyone else thinks, I am not responsible for it... only for living my own truth. I declare right here, right now that my days of being unclear, wishy-washy and catering to what I 'think' other people want, when it conflicts with my own inner knowing, are OVER!!!

The only thing I miss about not being on Facebook is the birthday reminders.

News of the day.... 'Tenants on our own land': New Zealand bans sale of homes to foreign buyers! When is BC going to get ITS act together!??

I was having trouble with creativity recently. Ideas weren't flowing, it's been like I've been making little puddles of colour without direction. I was stressing. I was pacing. But then I figured it out. The solution came from an unlikely source. I had a wild passionate affair with an old friend, and WOW, it worked wonders. I've never felt so creative. I've been sitting around on the floor in the studio making tons of art which is for the best because my legs are too wobbly to stand anyway. Goodbye creative block!

Having worked with someone for years I thought nothing of opening up my private life as we continued our friendship outside of the workplace. Women often talk about boyfriends or husbands, past relationships and family, their children and of course if they work together they have that in common as well. So I felt relaxed and let my guard down a few years ago but now am regretting it. Finding out more and more about this person in small doses but finding that my personal life revealed over the years is being used to belittle me behind my back at work . In some ways I understand that this is the only way she knows how to compete and that her character or personality must be damaged but she continues the friendship on the surface and so not sure what to do. Over the years our friendship has slowly become only a friendship as she has worked herself through her friends and contacts at work into a unique position and as an individual she is hoping to stand out enough to overcome her professional shortcomings on the basis of those relationships but I am hurt to realize that it seems she is determined to shut me out and will no longer even discuss real work with me. She pretends to work almost in another place for another employer rather than admit she strategically befriended and then betrayed me by portraying me as unstable at work when the truth is that my stability far outweighs her own despite my personal life.

When I first got to East Van in the 90s, all I ever wanted was to live in a garage with a futon, hotplate and toaster oven and make it my studio.

My cats name is Kitteh. Its the one name you can say and she runs to us like a dog! She is adopted. The crackhouse across the street got busted last fall... and outside our apartment this little kitty stood on her back legs to reach up for a pet.. everyday.. she was there. I assumed she was a friendly kitty owned obviously.. what a personality. SO LOVING. So im on the bottom floor of apartment.. big groundlevel window with bars. We leave out a bowl of water on the patio and watch . .. she drinks it all.. Odd. Everyday we leave water and we decide to get food. She is so beautiful and petite and very young.. Underweight and hair not so big and sexy. I have the best little buddy.. we have the best little buddy. The apartment mananger even said everyone loves the cat .. we all know how it was abandoned.. and how loving she is. People call her the guardian because she sits and waits and greets people at the front door by just simply being. What a joy.