is accepted over and over again this is called enabling. I saw this with my parents and in my twenties spent much time being quiet and not communicating because I didn't want to be a bitch and wanted to be a good girlfriend - so I tolerated being woken up with pokes and being startled and if I got mad I would get yelled at because that was just a joke - screamed at over my own pay check that I worked hard for and paid for his toys while he played video games and still I wasn't good enough because I had small boobs. Silence and sweeping things under the rug allows resentment to accrue and shows the kids that this non-sense is normal. Communicating directly is very very challenging yet it must be done and not accepting being crapped on is a role model for the kids.