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What is love? Baby don’t hurt me..

I just get hurt from relationships! I don’t know why our progressive society values this temp relationship culture? We are so progressive! Whew! And unhappy…

Psychopaths are great manipulators of truth

Always using sympathy as a ploy to gain enterence like avdisney movie. Its got so that some guy got abused and assaulted and the locals sympathize with the assaulter. So be it. Vindication

Weird service industry shut downs

Even the breweries and restaurants that have been around a long time are closing. WTF. I thought breweries were recession proof. What is happening in our economy? How does anyone afford a 2 million dollar house at 6.5%? That's impossible. WTF is going on!

Coda

I left the band last week. It started off okay in the beginning, but then it got boring and exhausting. I realize I have nothing in common with the other musicians. By all means, I’ve nothing against them. I’m not bragging about my musical skills. I don’t do that. My heart just wasn’t in it. It no longer served a purpose for me anymore and it makes better sense to play with musicians where things are congruent. Leaving the band felt tough at first, but it was time to let it go. I wish them well.

An Inferno

That's what the man wanted. He tossed his still smoking cigarette into the brown grass from his car window. I asked him very politely to be more careful, and he gives me the middle finger! I am just shocked at how irredeemablly callous and vapid these smokers can be. Are these people even human, or understand that we try to look out for each other or we all lose? What the fuck.

VPNers

They use VPN to act all anonymous and then login to their google account and everything is tracked anyways :p Lame!

I regret being honest.

I regret being honest with friends and family about my diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I didn't ask them for anything, I didn't need any money, increased time or increased support from them. I just wanted to be honest about what I was going through. Now it's like I have some kind of stench. They have ghosted me. And it hurts. Just at the time when you could use a friend or two to just talk to once in awhile, that's when the stigma of mental illness robs you of friendships. I wish I had just kept things completely private and suffered in silence. I did do that for years actually, and no one had any idea of what I was going through. But as time went on, it felt like I was living a lie, so I decided to tell them the truth. It was the wrong thing to do.

I'm confused

Your friend said I creeped you out, and yet you moved from behind me, to beside me to directly in my eye line. Odd behaviour given your truth. The attention must be one hell of a dopamine hit for you to continue. More than anything, I feel sorry for you.

Making it easy

Last year I made the militant personal challenge to change my internet ways. Detoxing a way that was real. I started by not clicking on anything that had the words "advocate" or "expert" in the title. That goal stuck and took a big chunk of my doomscrolling away. Having an outdated server, library use and a VPN due to dorm like living conditions ended up taking many websites away as they do not work with those. More recently I have self proposed "buzzwords" that if in the title or on the radio or tv, I instantly turn off. I won't name those buzzwords because they confession would be deleted. However, thanks to these little changes I am finding I am detoxing at least 50% of what I was just a year ago.

I SAW YOU

Overground from Hackney to Clapham Junction

I doubt you will ever gonna read this but… if you are thee guy who stared at me the whole journey...

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