The other day, I had my other selves in parallel universes gaze into my own and it was humbling, I'm not gonna lie. One of me was married and happy - a good person - while the other was also single but wildly successful. And he was absolutely FURIOUS that I was not. That I was still living with my parents. WTF?!? He's both ruthless and unforgiving. Scary. But I took solace knowing that God has positioned me where I am for good reason.

I used to think that every memory I had about my childhood was “the truth”. For a long time after I reached adulthood I believed that my perception told the story of my family. It did, but the story it told was only my own. It took me a long time to understand how perception is completely different for each person so no two people in any family will remember things the same way. As a parent myself hearing some of the things my own kids believe happened in their childhood, I also realize that children can’t possibly know what’s really going on with their parents, and that helped me see my own parents in a different light. I was just a child so I only remembered my child’s view of life, which was obviously missing so much context that would explain a lot. So now I see my parents more as the complex human beings that they were rather than just the people who created me and provided my reality as a kid. It’s helped me forgive them for the mistakes they made, and it’s replaced some of the anger and resentment I carried with humility as I accept my own humanity too.

Years after online movements, and a bazillion posters on my post secondary referring to positive spaces and feminism have done jack shit. Even white knighting/faux feminists have learned it takes less effort to pretend you're a progressive male than actually being one.

You spend the whole relationship you have with someone making sure that they always know how replaceable they are. You take extra pains to let them know that they’re not special, and you criticize them constantly. You refuse to make a commitment of any kind. So eventually they just give up and accept that it’s never going to be what they want and need, and they leave you. If you’re genuinely surprised by their decision, I think you need to wake the hell up.

The most prevalent theme for me this past year: Love or Death. But death seems to be winning out for it's realistic and appealing quality. I don't see it as negative. The prospect of finding, acquiring, keeping, and nurturing love not just for another person but also myself? Daunting. 0+

It seems to me that the people who are so ready to tell someone that they need to get over it or forget about it, are often the ones who caused the problem in the first place. Or they benefited from a situation where the other person was harmed. I understand that anger can be destructive, but without it things rarely change. When someone is raised in a society where only certain people are socially allowed to be angry, and if they’re told they’re crazy for fighting against discrimination or subjugation, it’s pretty normal for them to have a lot of resentment. Until a person can truly acknowledge the privilege they’ve been granted purely by their physical manifestation, I don’t think they have the right to tell someone who hasn’t had that privilege not to be angry and to just get over it.

I ran away from home when I was ten. I stayed away for a day and a half. My folks were plenty worried. I had unpleasant and frightening experiences which, in today's world, would have had very serious consequences, death being not an unlikely one of them. When I went home, because I could not imagine a way that staying away could work for me, at that time, my folks treated me well for a while, but then it was back to the way it was. The next time I ran away, years later, I had a better plan, and I never went home again.

I can only speak through my own experiences, however I’d like to offer some advice to those out there who have children with Autism. Don’t force your children to want friends. If they want friends, put them in a situation where they’ll be able to find some. Once they feel comfortable, then they’ll gradually learn the ropes on their own. If your kids don’t like something, there’s a good chance they never will, especially if you keep pushing it upon them. Leave them to find their own interests and they’ll be happier about themselves.

Full disclosure, I’ve been guilty of doing this myself before I saw the error of my ways. But when it happens now I see the motive behind it so clearly. When you don’t know all the circumstances of someone else’s life or especially, their medical situation, you’re not in any position to judge what they can or cannot do. Telling me about someone else that you think has the same medical condition as I do but is capable of doing “so much more” is just cruel. If you think it’s going to inspire the person you’re speaking to, think again. It’s not. It’s going to make them even more convinced that you have no idea of what they’re dealing with. No two people are alike. Especially when it comes to medical situations. Unless they have exactly the same physiological makeup and medical history, they are NOT the same. Even if they have the same diagnosis, they don’t share the same body! Please stop doing this to people, even if you think you’re being helpful or especially if you’re trying to do the “tough love” approach. What people who are trying to cope with difficult medical issues need the most is compassion and empathy, not judgment and condescension. Take your own ego out of the equation and stop assuming that you have all the answers.

They just faded away. For awhile there the city was so romantic. Walk along here something in the distance then come across someone playing beautiful music. Its a shame they're gone now.